Sit your butt on the seat, damn it!

I have had it with you women who hover over the toilet seat and spray your pee all over the seat for the next person to find and clean up. Sit your ass on the seat and do your business, damn it! Do you really think you are going to catch a disease by sitting on the seat? Have you actually ever heard of this happening to.... anyone?! I have absolutely never, not once in my life, heard a true story of anyone catching a disease or even getting sick from sitting on a toilet seat.

Don't you realize that it is you that is the problem? The reason people hover is because of people who hover! The pee on the seat that you don't want to touch is from the previous person who didn't want to touch the pee on the seat!

Do you get it now? You are the problem! SIT DOWN, pee, wipe... this is how NOT to get pee on the seat for me to clean up.

And, by the way, the floor you are walking on is much dirtier than that seat anyway.