Message to the bride and groom...

This weekend my cousin got married to a great guy and the whole weekend was filled with family and fun. In a traditional Jewish wedding, there is a ceremony prior to the nuptials called a tish, where you can give some advice to the couple. During the tish, I really couldn't find what I wanted to say, but as I have had more time to think about it, I've come up with a few words of wisdom.

Now, I've only been married eight years and, believe me, BM and I are far from perfect. We have had our ups and downs. We have had plenty of hard times relationship-wise, but also lots of good ones. Here are a few things I have learned along the way in no particular order:

1) Complacency can be the most dangerous thing in a realtionship. The minute you forget that you have to work at it, things start going downhill.

2) Spend time often sharing details of your day (and also your thoughts on the day in general). I find that when we start to lose interest in the minute details of each other's lives is when distance grows. Over the years, people change, and if we don't keep up with those changes, we risk waking up next to a stranger.

3) This is an oldie, but a goodie... Pick your battles! I struggle with this one everyday, but I definitely find that we are more able to compromise when everything isn't an issue that needs to be discussed.

4) Go out to breakfast together. Not lunch or dinner, but breakfast. It kickstarts your weekends and sets the tone.

5) Go to bed angry... I am the type of person that likes to talk things out right now and get everything settled. Big Monkey likes time to think about things. It has taken me a long time to realize that sometimes it is better to give things some time. Think about what you want to say before you say it. (I never do this, but it really is good advice!)

6) Sit down and talk about your plans often. Have a life plan that you set together. Even if it doesn't come to fruition or your road changes, you will both be on the same page with what you want and expect out of your marriage.

So, newlyweds, I wish you a long and happy life together. I hope you take some of my advice and I too am going to try to remember some of my own words of wisdom more often.

Readers, anything you'd like to add to the list?