9/08/2008

Elevator Etiquette... Learn It, Live it!

Everyone who works in a high rise office building knows, there is nothing worse than lack of elevator etiquette. If you are clueless, let me give you a few lessons to start you on your way to a better you...

1) Hey , you, lady who just had a smoke break! You stink! And you are standing in a very small space, very close to my nasal passages. Get yourself a nicotine patch or take the stairs!

2) Hey, you, fat lady! Please take a look in the elevator before backing yourself in butt first and sticking your nasty rear end in my stomach. It is rude and bizarre, and uncalled for. Walk in facing forward and then turn around a safe and comfortable distance away from me.

3) Hey, you, lawyer in a big hurry! Please don't stick your briefcase into the doors of a completely full elevator right as they are closing, and then squeeze yourself in. Yes, I know this is hard to believe, but we also have places to go, and after the third lawyer doing this on the same elevator, it gets old. There are eight other elevators which will be coming any minute. Wait your damn turn!

4) Hey, you, with your nose pressed against the elevator doors, waiting for them to open! I am in the elevator and need to get off of it. That is very hard to do with you standing in the center of the doors and stepping into the elevator. Do you think the ten people who rode down with me are just joyriding? Yes, we actually would like to get off on the ground floor, and only then should you get on.

5) Hey, you, on your cellphone, in the elevator! I don't care! I don't care that you have to take the car in, I don't care that your boss said that to you, I don't care where you are going out for lunch. Get off your phone! Can't it wait until you get to your desk? Save your minutes, for God's sake!

Ughh! People drive me batty! Please feel free to add your own...

11 comments:

Mike Golch said...

how about the loud braggard that has to tell every one of his latest "score"

Gin E said...

OMG! This is exactly how it is at my office.

and if you don't mind, I have to add some of my friends...

-->Lady, I know you don't want to be late, but the sign says it's "FULL" and you're the last one who went in. Get out and wait for the next ride. And next time, come to work earlier.

-->Hey, you, lady who is holding the door while talking to someone outside the elevator. If you're still not done talking, get off and let us go our way.

-->Hey, new boy, the one that looks lost, don't press every floors. If you're not sure what floor to go, talk to the receptionist at the ground floor.

Elle said...

People in elevators - you can definitely weed out the weakest links in a small box! BTW, I gave you an award -- check out my place when you get a moment and pick it up!

Sassy Mama Bear said...

Really annoying habits aren't they and you hit them all on the head, I really hate the smelly smokers, they think nothing of that, but for people like me with asthma that is really not nice, and bad for our health.

Later Gator said...

I really lucked out. I work on the first floor of a 12 story building.

Toni said...

Number 4 is on my list of all around pet peeves! I have yet to figure out how standing in my way, knowing I have to get off before you can get on, makes your ride to wherever any faster!

Starnes Family said...

Gin E got it right. That person holding the door to finish a conversation with someone on the outside?

Super annoying.

I don't work in an office anymore, but did so for years and was equally annoyed.

Now, I'm at home with kids and I annoy other people in the elevator.

That kid that HAS to push the button? Mine.
That kid who pushes the "call" button because he doesn't understand what it is? Mine.
That lady with the doublestroller who can't really drive it all that well? Me.

My apologies to you all should we meet in an elevator one day.

Wendy said...

And no matter how bad it hurts...

HOLD IT IN UNTIL YOU GET OFF THE ELEVATOR.

Karen & Gerard Zemek said...

When I leave after work, I am in a hurry to get my bus. A few seconds can make a difference between having to wait for a light to cross the street and missing my bus or not, so what annoys me is when men who are trying to be gentlemen, hold the door open for everyone else to get out. This is just dumb. What do they think, that the door will close on us if they don't hold it? Everyone is in a hurry to get out and by doing this, they usually block up about half the opening! Men, please, just exit quickly from elevators.

Sara said...

Y'all are all so funny! I knew you would come up with some good ones too!

That Nora Girl said...

Hey, you, creepy guy leering at me! I'm not in this small space with you because I want to be close to you! I'm here because I have stuff to do and it doesn't include being undressed with your eyes!

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.